Monday, May 6, 2013

Becoming a Mother

Saints game

Before I was a Mother, Hom and I used to do lots of fun things. We were always on the go. I'd wanted to be a Mother for as long as I knew what a Mommy was. I dreamt of having 4 boys, spread out every 2 year. Wha??? I also assumed I'd get married at 22 and start having kids at 24. Then, I grew up and got a little sense. When I met my favorite man at 22, I was nowhere near wanting to walk down an aisle. Four years passed and it finally felt right. In November 2005, I sprinted down that aisle and we made The Home Team official. Four years of marriage was filled with "adult activities", galas, training for and running in races, lots of football games and tailgating. I never felt like anything was missing. I knew one day, in the future, we would bother with doing the "kid thing." Four more years passed in the blink of an eye... 

Saints MNF

After my first half marathon
Ole Miss/LSU tailgating
Hom's work gala in New York
 Then this happened. I ate wayyyy too much food. And look at those tatas! Go, Girl. No, that's not plastic surgery and burritos. That would be what made us a family of three, my boy. This was mere hours before we met our son. My water had broken. Much to Hom's chagrin, I insisted on taking a shower, straightening my hair, and finishing packing my bag. I wasn't going to be "that" girl in OB receiving that, not only had a constant trickle of not-pee leaking out, but also stunk and had nappy hair.
Then, much to my chagrin, it became nappy anyway. I'm giving my little round face a break though because this was around 4 o'clock in the morning after being in labor (sans epidural for 6 hours.) 
The anticipation was palpable as Hom and I were about to realize our dreams of becoming parents. This story would be so great if I could say, "In the blink of an eye, and 2 pushes later, parents we became." However, E made me work for it and instead I'll say, "In 27,893 blinks of my eye and 3.5 hours of pushing later, parents we became." I will never forget the moment I looked down at our squirmy, gooey newborn, placed gently in my arms. Hom, with (never witnessed by me prior) TEARS in his eyes and stating, "We have a baby." It was surreal. Then we reveled in watching OUR Moms witness a new beginning, both of their first biological grandchild.

Wait. Who put us in charge of someone else's life? The amount of immediate love for this 7 pound child is indescribable. Suddenly, my thoughts were consumed with nurturing and protecting this person, without regard for myself. I imagined I'd miss the galas, football games, races, etc. He was totally dependent on ME. I was finally a mother, at the exact time God had planned. I experienced, I lived, I traveled, I loved, I lost, and then I gained. I gained far more than I could have ever imagined. E was an easy newborn. I kept thinking, "This isn't so hard." Now, looking back, I realize that was all part of the partial dementia God gives new parents. I think it's part of that sleep deprived brain thing. It was hard but I was prepared for exhaustion and frustration, not "Oh, I haven't slept more than 3 hours straight in 3 months and my boobs have been flopped out for the last hour but look at those delicious toes so whatev!"

Three more years passed, and this happened. A daughter. With her, I can certainly say, "In the blink of an eye and 3 pushes later, we were parents....again." She came out quickly, kicking and screaming, making Hom and I the parents of two people. Overwhelmed doesn't describe it.

What happened to us, the adventurous Home Team? Well, we became parents. And this time in our lives isn't filled with fun adult activities. It's filled with poopy "ackident" pants, breastfeeding, mashed sweet potatoes in my hair, rambunctious 3 year-old raising, and constant worry that we're going to do something that will adversely affect these two people's future. If you told me about this ten years ago, I would have totally freaked out, liquidated my meager savings, and run off to Tahiti or, if savings determined it, maybe more like Destin. Now, it is a life that I wouldn't trade for anything. These people destroyed my social life. They made me into a person that watches only televised football, never live. We determine our "night's on the town" based on the noise level at a restaurant (as in, "Well, it's loud enough that nobody should notice a crying baby.") They also whisper nightly, "I love you, Mommy. Now, snuggle time." They smile, they coo happily, they giggle with tickles, they crawl, they run wild, they concentrate with their tongues wagging out. This is my legacy. This is the combination of Homet and I and everything we have taught them and allowed them to experience. I could have never imagined the depth of what being a Mother entailed. This Mother's Day, material gifts are pointless. My gift is given to me everyday in the mundane. I hope to always appreciate the health and love of these two people that have made me a Mother.