I asked my boy to go to the office and get Mommy
the calculator. I gave him detailed instructions, “If you’re looking at the
computer, it’s in the drawer on your left on the top. It’s a blue and white
calculator.” We’re working on directions so I figured, what the heck. We’ll see
what he comes back with. There’s nothing in there that’ll kill him. Oh wait.
Did I leave the shredder plugged up? I’ll just listen carefully. Well, about 3
minutes goes by and no Ev. I was heading towards the office when, from the
hallway runs E….no calculator…and no undies. What? “Ummm, E, you’re not wearing
underwear.” And then the monologue began, “You see, Mommy, I pee peed just a
widdle bit in my undies so I took them off, rinsed them in my sink, finished
pee peeing in the potty, washed my hands, and now I need help putting my dirty
undies in the washing machine.” I just stared at him. We are now working on
separating and washing clothes and cooking us Beef Bourguignon. He’s nailing this
Boy that title's really going to reel in my readers...
It was brought to my attention that it looks as if when I mentioned, "I stopped counting around 1700" sounds like he asked 1700 questions. He did not, in fact, ask 1700. He asked 290. I just stopped counting around 5pm which, in military time (aka the only way a nurse thinks), is 1700. Thus, that was the time, not question count. Let me assure you, by 5pm, it sure felt like I'd been asked 1700 though.
Another addendum topic is...
How exactly do you even answer questions such as, "What flavor is our sun roof?" or this nugget that I get rather often, "What's my birthday's last name?"
The other night, as I laid down, I felt as if I had been assaulted. Not physically, per se, but certainly mentally. Our child constantly barrages me with question after question. The 3 year-old not the 3 month-old (yet.) I realize this is totally normal. I do. However, it is also absolutely exhausting. I try to answer each question, helping him figure out the world in a realistic way. I realize maybe he won't understand my answer when he asks, "Why do you take that medicine all the time." (Disclaimer: He says, "all the time" for any length of time. Be it every hour, every day, or even once a year. Everything is "all the time". Just so you don't think I'm overdosing.) Anyway, when I tell him that, in fact, I take my Synthroid once daily, in the morning, on an empty stomach because, when pregnant with him, they discovered my thyroid didn't work and then, after he was born, they had to go in and do a total thyroidectomy because my biopsies revealed pre-cancerous signs and so now I make no thyroid hormone which controls your metabolism, energy, and a little bit of everything else. He usually just stares at me. However, the next day, he'll say something like, "Did you take your energy medicine." I consider it a success. Sooooo, back to my case study.
I decided to count how many questions I receive daily. I picked a Wednesday because he doesn't have school that day so I would be around him most of the day. I began counting as soon as he woke (at 0545) and in two short hours, the number was quite astonishing. I didn't count repeat questions, "Mommy, where are we going?" "The grocery, E." "Mommy, where are we going?" "I told you, E, the grocery." I counted that only as one though, it was noted that he repeats ALOT. I also only counted "inquiring" questions. I didn't count, "Mommy, could we go build a tower?" or "Mommy, could we eat macaroni and cheese for lunch?" I also missed one hour when he was at the gym nursery. I considered asking Ms. Cindy (the teacher in the nursery) to count but figure she already thinks I'm a bit off my rocker anyway so didn't want to push it. I also had a two hour break when he napped. I stopped counting around 1700 because I was simply tired of thinking. Thus, it was a total of about 8 hours.
I know you're on the edge of your seat so, without further ado, here were my discoveries:
A)The questions usually come in clusters, "machine gun questions", if you will. If he's going to ask one, twenty more are waiting in the wings.
B)It is hard to grocery shop with two kids and remember to count questions.
C)He asks some gooood questions. I mean, why can't we eat cupcakes for breakfast all the time?
D)He asked me 290 questions. That is 36 1/4 an hour, more than every other minute. That, my friends, is "all the time."