Mom

For those of you that don't keep up with my Mom's caringbridge site...
After 29 days of believing this monster named cancer was gone, we got confirmation that there were about 5 "enlarged mediastinal lymph nodes." This is basically medical jargon for, "Crap, the cancer is likely back and has now spread to her lymph system." We met with Mom's oncologist in Oxford a few weeks ago and he recommended biopsies. So there she and Bert go again to Vanderbilt. She will have a bronchoscopy (camera down her throat) to visualize and biopsy the nodes. Ugh.
It's crazy for me to imagine a life without my Mom. We talk several times a day. She is the model of the Mother that I want to be and, with her gentle guidance, think I have been in Everett's 9 months. She is the most influential person in my life. Literally, from when I was born and she gave birth to 9 lb, 8 oz ME with no drugs. She claimed"it wasn't so bad." Thus, began my quest to labor drug free. While Ev was 7 lb, 5 oz, it was the most beautiful 10 hours of my entire life and I would do it again in a heartbeat. She kissed all of my bobos and spanked me when I deserved it (yes, Mom, I DID deserve it.) I can't imagine my children (future, god willing, and present) not knowing her. The tears have dried since the most current news as they always do. I cry for days and question how the body can lose so much water and not just shrivel up. Then, we accept the news and come up with the next plan. This is the bearable part...having a plan. Please keep my Mom and Bert in your prayers tomorrow as we start another phase of this horrible journey.