Monday, October 22, 2012

Pee, poo, and boogers (What is it with my titles lately?)

If you are single and think you want children, stop reading riiiiight NOW. If you are contemplating children, discretion is advised. If you are pregnant, you should have stopped about twelve words ago. You're emotional anyway, you cute little roley thing. Go eat some ice cream. Now. Stop reading. If you have children, forge ahead and commiserate with me...
I worked this weekend and the kiddos were with grandparents and the hubs. I love that they get special care with those that aren't constantly with them, not to mention, it makes leaving them so much easier. Anyway, I'm not sure what happened with our eldest child this weekend but we went about 344 steps backwards in potty training. He hadn't had an accident in about two weeks. We were well on our way to a diaper-free life (with him) and I was relishing that! Weeeeellllllll, I'm now off for 8 and woke this morning ready to take on the day. Within 20 minutes of taking off his nighttime diaper and putting on undies, he had an "ak-i-dent" of the pee variety. Whatev, I thought, wiped the "pieces" (seriously, that's what he calls it), and put on a fresh pair of undies. By the time I left for the gym around 10, he had had three accidents. What the??? Luckily, I was doing laundry. I headed on to the gym, let him pee in the "mini potty" at the gym nursery, then worked out for a bit over an hour. When I went to pick them up, sweet Mrs. Cindy, our beloved nursery lady, looked totally frazzled. We love that lady and, typically, my kiddos are the only ones there so she's quite fond of them. C was screaming and E was minding his own business building a tower. She informed me that C must have a tummy ache because she'd pooped all over her clothes, the car seat, etc. She had tried everything to make her stop crying but to no avail. C had already been changed and her dirty clothes were already rinsed and in a plastic bag. I covered her nasty seat up with a bib and loaded her up, apologizing to Mrs. Cindy as I worked. I took E back to the bathroom to go before we left and....seriously??? He had had another accident. "Hello, Sara. You have just arrived in children's excretion hell. Take a seat and get comfy." I had not packed another pair of pants but, luckily, had a Pull-up. E walked out of the gym with a Pull-up and no pants. C was hauled out in a poop-covered car seat. I'm expecting my phone to ring annnnny minute to notify me of my Mother of the Year nomination. Anyway, I get in the car and what is the first song that starts?? Darius Rucker's "It Won't Be Like This For Long." I almost shed a tear. Thanks, God, I def needed that. When I think of this song, I remember hearing it when E was 4 days old and we were headed back to the hospital to check his bilirubin level. I vividly remember being in the back seat with my newborn (because with that first baby, you just can't imagine EVER sitting in the front seat, a HUGE 2 extra feet away) and wiping the tears from behind my sunglasses. Now, all I could do was just laugh because isn't that the truth? It won't be like this for long. Then, to snap me out of my revery, E piped up from the backseat, "Here you go, Mom, here's a booger." All I could think (after I took and disposed of said booger) was, "Yay! He's not eating them anymore." It won't be like this for long, eh? Will someone give me a guarantee on that?

1 comment:

  1. I had this whole comment typed out and it didn't post. BOO.

    I loved this post. Crazy, I know. But you are not alone. Yes, it does get better in some respects (less excretions) but then comes new territory (more attitude). It's a never ending cycle but some are worse than others.

    You just have to laugh. Live, laugh, love. You got it covered!

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