A funny thing happened...

in labor and delivery. Yeah, you read that right. Here's one of those stories that people often nod their head and state, "Only me." This is the truth according to my orthopedic doctor. I can't decide whether to laugh or cry about it so I'll share it here in order to make light of it. Maybe then it will seem funnier. Probably not.

It all started when I decided I wanted a drug-free delivery with my children. My Mom had done it with me and my brother (and I was 9 lb. 8 oz.). Now, don't get me wrong, I would never break my leg and ask for no pain meds but I had always wanted to feel the true pain of labor. It is LABOR after all. I told my doctor my intentions but that I would do whatever I could to keep the baby the safest. If that meant pitocin, epidural, etc. I'd do it against my wishes in order to get baby and mom home in the best condition. Well, my labor went exactly according to my plans. Water broke at 10 pm, at hospital by 11:30 (having 3 minute contractions but still felt the need to shower and straighten hair). By the time they checked me at 11:30, I was already 4 cm. By 0509, I was starting to push. That's when things got a little hairy. I pushed. and pushed. and pushed. I had to play a sort of "tug-of-war" with the nurses to push in the right spot. The nurse held a towel and I pulled with all my might against it. Some say that a doctor won't let you push in excess of 2 hours. For some docs, it's a 3 hour cutoff before they take you for a C section. I'm assuming because I'd labored that long successfully with no drugs and my doc knew my intentions, she didn't opt for a section. Maybe she knew I was getting close. Anyway, I pushed for 3 hours and 15 minutes exactly (0824) when my beautiful, healthy barely cone-headed boy emerged into this world. Now, I've talked to friends that had an epidural and "pushed 3 times and out popped the baby." Well, (while jealous) that's not the way my story was intended to be written and I wouldn't change it (but, God, if you're listening, it sure would be nice to only push like maybe 2 hours for the next kiddo. Just saying.) Anyway, I was cleaning up my hospital room by 10 am in preparation for visitors and felt great. I was sore all over which I would imagine is normal. A week later, things were starting to feel normal again except this nagging left shoulder pain. I assumed it was because I was holding babe with my left arm more because I'm right handed and needed it free to write, unload dishes, and all the other things multitasking moms do. Anyway, a few months go by and I tried to be more diligent about swapping him to each arm but to no avail. When Everett was about 7 months, I offhandedly mentioned it to my internal medicine doctor. I showed him what hurt and he referred me to an orthopedic doctor. The Ortho doctor then asked if it was a sports injury, accident, etc. Imagine his surprise when I casually mentioned it was from labor. Anyway, after weeks of physical therapy, a contrasted MRI (OUCH) revealed that I have multiple longitudinal tears in my bicep with some fluid accumulation along with tendonosis. He said the only cure was to scope my shoulder, cut out the "bad spot", and "tie the good ends together." Sounds easy peasey, right? Yeah, if it's not your shoulder. Anyway, so while I bull-headedly opted out of the damn epidural, I now have a torn bicep to show for it. I keep having to tell myself that it would have happened anyway. Ortho doc has allowed me to put surgery off until early next year since I have to have my thyroid out next month and my shoulder is non-emergent. I would give a moral to this story but, honestly, I don't have one. Maybe you guys can help me out and, no, I still would opt out of the epidural. Sorry. They don't call me stubborn for nothing.